DAVINA'S STORY

I found out I had an under-active thyroid in my early 30's.

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Then, 3 years later, whilst working in Sainsbury's I felt really ill - I had an intense pain across my stomach and back. Luckily I was able to get a doctors appointment straight away.

Based on what I was describing the doctor was initially worried that I might be symptomatic of an ectopic pregnancy. This led to a series of questions about my relationship and family history regarding fertility, I also explained that my periods were very irregular.

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What surprised the doctor most was that I wasn't pregnant.

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I wasn't using any protection, and both mine and my (now ex) boyfriends family were clearly very fertile (my parents have 8 children combined from their current and previous marriages, and I'm an aunty to 5 from my siblings!). 

After doing an exam she couldn’t immediately find anything wrong, so put me forward to have an internal exam with a camera. 

When I finally got the results back from the doctor, I was told it was polycystic ovaries (PCOS).

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My first question was "Does this mean I can't have children?".

 

The doctor said given that I have a thyroid disorder and polycystic ovaries (that can both cause infertility) if I ever was to fall pregnant, there would be a high chance of miscarriage. (At this point, my age was also a factor, too).

 

At the time of finding out I just told everyone I wasn’t bothered, that I was 'focusing on my career'.

But truthfully, in the back of my mind, I was really upset. I felt like a failure.

Not only that but the two conditions also caused me to put on loads of weight, so it was just knock after knock to my confidence.

I didn't feel like a woman, I felt like half a person. 

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And yet a lot of change was just around the corner.

My relationship broke down and we decided to separate, and then, after 12 years of working in Sainsbury's I was made redundant.

I soon found myself in a new relationship, and looking for a new career path. For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to work as a model / actress and so I started doing a lot of jobs that weren’t paid and some brand ambassador work as a way of finding out if I would like it/ if I was the right fit. 

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My doctor had told me to keep a track of my periods, as if they started to become irregular again they were potentially planning more tests, or other treatments to help. I used my Fitbit (which I'd bought to track my new diet and exercise - mainly walking! - regime) and I noticed I'd managed to get to a point where my periods were like clockwork. 

I did a jog one day and came home feeling exhausted. I'm definitely not the most healthy or fit person, but this was different - I thought I was going to pass out and was super hungry. My app also said I was a couple of days late, which, like I said, was weird for me at that time.

I just had a feeling, a little 'voice' in the back of my mind saying "do a test!". 

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It turns out my new path had been determined for me!

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I was shocked, but happy shocked, because it was something we had both really hoped would happen. 

 

Against all the odds; under-active thyroid, polycystic ovaries, 'older mum', high risk of miscarriage...

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... on Christmas Day, 2019 we welcomed our daughter, Aurora.

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I'm sharing this as a little glimmer of hope. 

I know first hand what it's like to think the worst outcome, when that's not necessarily going to be the case.

I also know how restrictive it can be to bottle things up. Sure, have a filter, but it's okay to share. The more I opened up the less I was overthinking, and was actually able to breathe!

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I'm not sure if more children are on the cards, I know pregnancy and birth can sometimes be beneficial to PCOS, but it's hard to say as we are not currently trying (Although Aurora is asking!!! She has 3 toy babies and has made it clear she wants another one!!).

But in the meantime, I'm enjoying every second with her as a stay at home mom, I'm lucky her dad can support us, and that he really appreciates and admires the fact that I want to make sure she knows about her culture from the UK, Jamaica, India and Norway which we talk about, often.

I used to think a career would be the main focus of my life, but that has been replaced by Aurora now, and if/when I do decide to re-enter the world of work, whatever I choose to do would need to complement that, as she is my life now. 

 

The number one thing I'd say to others with a similar diagnosis would be: even when you have been given some news that might not be what you want to hear, remember there are so many other amazing qualities you have within you that are waiting to come out.

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A diagnosis does not define you.

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It’s also perfectly fine not to be what people consider to be the 'perfect person' because you are you, and no one can take that away!